Now it's time for something I like to call "my little insurance policy"
Two new pieces of mail have arrived. Since the first one has something to do with insurance, it's kind of boring. But since it's also a letter to Ruddy Ruddy, it's inherently interesting. The second one, I don't quite understand.
"This is not an advertisement. This is the information you requested," lies the first envelope, which comes from Long-Term Care Quote in Chandler, AZ, which sells insurance polices from Metropolitan Life, Prudential, and General Electric Capital. While it's intriguing to think about taking out an insurance policy on Ruddy Ruddy and then faking his death, the more fascinating thing is that they casually toss off a bit of information about Ruddy Ruddy that I didn't even know they had, which is all the more surprising because I didn't know it myself. At the top of the application, they've got the name and address, but they list the name as "Mr. Ruddy, age 55."
The second comes from MKD Environmental, and reads, "Here is your requested information on how to earn '81k and 800/mo car allowance':" on the front. Why the single quotes around '81k and 800/mo car allowance'? I don't know. And when did I request this anyway? I don't know that either.
Anyway, even though it says it's got the information I requested, there's not enough information inside to understand exactly what I'm being informed about. It seems to be letting me know about some kind of business opportunity, and encourages me to study the Manager Makers website and the official Ecoquest website, the latter of which is run by the people who sent this letter, a couple named "Mary and kenn dziedzic". That's the way the names are written. kenn, the actual author of the letter, is clearly from the supposed e.e. cummings school of capitalization. Why? I'd guess the lack of capitalization in kenn's name may have to do with the Christian virtue of humility, because his letter contains passages like the following:
and this one, which displays some bad use of the infinitive "to become" and some inconsistent capitalization of the holy pronoun:
So, kenn doesn't look forward to the next conversation at this time, but he will look forward to it. That actually makes sense, since he and Ruddy Ruddy would have to have that first conversation before that next one can happen. Unfortunately, God has closed the door and shown Ruddy Ruddy that this is not a path for him. Sorry, kenn.
"This is not an advertisement. This is the information you requested," lies the first envelope, which comes from Long-Term Care Quote in Chandler, AZ, which sells insurance polices from Metropolitan Life, Prudential, and General Electric Capital. While it's intriguing to think about taking out an insurance policy on Ruddy Ruddy and then faking his death, the more fascinating thing is that they casually toss off a bit of information about Ruddy Ruddy that I didn't even know they had, which is all the more surprising because I didn't know it myself. At the top of the application, they've got the name and address, but they list the name as "Mr. Ruddy, age 55."
The second comes from MKD Environmental, and reads, "Here is your requested information on how to earn '81k and 800/mo car allowance':" on the front. Why the single quotes around '81k and 800/mo car allowance'? I don't know. And when did I request this anyway? I don't know that either.
Anyway, even though it says it's got the information I requested, there's not enough information inside to understand exactly what I'm being informed about. It seems to be letting me know about some kind of business opportunity, and encourages me to study the Manager Makers website and the official Ecoquest website, the latter of which is run by the people who sent this letter, a couple named "Mary and kenn dziedzic". That's the way the names are written. kenn, the actual author of the letter, is clearly from the supposed e.e. cummings school of capitalization. Why? I'd guess the lack of capitalization in kenn's name may have to do with the Christian virtue of humility, because his letter contains passages like the following:
Here is an overview of the information you will find in this letter:
1. First, instructions for looking at my official Ecoquest website at www.ecoquest.com/rainbow where you can see our products and get information on our home based business opportunity. Mary and I chose the name 'rainbow' because the rainbow is the Lord's promise made visible to us that he will never destroy the whole inhabited earth again. It is also seen as the Lord's promise of a better way, a better life.
Instructions for getting into this site can be found below.
and this one, which displays some bad use of the infinitive "to become" and some inconsistent capitalization of the holy pronoun:
My prayer for you, as with all the people who respond to me for this business opportunity is this: If God would have you to become involved He would show you, and that if he does not want you to become involved and would not bring you blessings in our business, then my prayer is that he would close the door for you and show you that this is not a path for you. I will look forward to our next conversation.
So, kenn doesn't look forward to the next conversation at this time, but he will look forward to it. That actually makes sense, since he and Ruddy Ruddy would have to have that first conversation before that next one can happen. Unfortunately, God has closed the door and shown Ruddy Ruddy that this is not a path for him. Sorry, kenn.
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