Ruddy rage!

One of the best things I've seen in the past little while is that I got some 19-year-old named Ruddy upset because I called the name "Ruddy Ruddy" ridiculous. If you missed it because you don't read the comments (and why would you?) witness his recent complaint:

This makes me angry Ruddy inc. that you tell people that ruddy is a ridiculous name, because the fact is my real name is Ruddy!!! So i think i should get some of the profits of your organization. My name is Ruddy Danniel. not ruddy ruddy tho---. still tho-- its discrimination against my name. don't u think???

I should point out that the total gross lifetime profit of Ruddy Inc. is 7 cents. And that's before taxes!

Also witness his outraged post on the matter on his own site. Note the URL: "Sniff glue"! That's hilarious!

what is this? my name really is ruddy. and why would you say it is a fake name? it makes me angry.

I don't know exactly why he was addressing me directly there. I had no idea his site even existed until I dug it up. But I sure don't want to get into a war of words with such an eloquent, thoughtful person, witness his well-reasoned recent post on the war in Iraq. Clearly, if I got into an argument with this guy, he'd cut me to pieces!

I was thinking profusely a couple of hours ago and decided that the war in Iraq is justified. We want to destroy Sadaam Hussein and his regime of cocoas. Yes the insurgents are over running the entire city and destroying people. Isn't that horrible? Yes, people are dieing. It's absolutely horrible, the president seems to think so as well. Everyone in the world except the killers seem to think so. But who are the killers? The killers are out of form compared to the other beings on our planet! Is there a genetic dysfunction in your dinorubonucleic acids? Yes, I've realized that I mispelled that word but I haven't taken biology in a while. I saw a picture of a man who was shot in the head and blood had spilled all over his truck. It was a gruesome picture, but nobody cared. I saw a woman on television pleading for her life because insurgents threatened to decapitate her if her country didn't pull troops. She was decapitated, I saw that video too. How gruesome!! But it passed, and it didn't happen to me. What a relief. Am I speical? Is my life more valuable than Her's? Or was I born in the right place at the right time? Maybe it is just coincidence. Everything is coincidence isn't it? The reason is there never was order and everything you see is all imaginative. Nothing is ever real-- not even this page that I'm writing on. Yes it is. No it's not. Yes it is. Be quiet.

I don't know what to say. Except this: If it weren't for the satisfying experience of luring them from chatrooms into motel rooms, I'd say that teenagers ought not to be on the internet at all.