P. Caponio soon to b. kaput
Well, it’s that time of the month again for Miss Ruddy Ruddy.
No, I’m not talking about menstruation, or PMS, or anything like that. Quite the reverse – it’s time for Enchantress Hosiery of Canada to bitch at Ruddy Ruddy in what has fast become a monthly tradition of tersely worded collection letters. Behold:
Of course, they're still implying that Ruddy Ruddy actually received the shipment for which they're trying to bill, which isn't the case. Only the free ones arrived, and none after that. So, if I may point this out once again, Ruddy Ruddy just doesn't owe any money at all.
Hmm. Now that I look back on it, I actually wrote almost exactly the same thing the last time I got something from Enchantress. But I was really drunk that time. However, I'm not now, and perceived through a lens of cold, sober reason, everything I concluded last time seems just as valid.
Here's something I didn't notice before, though: Why does Enchantress have a Delinquent Accounts Supervisor who apparently works in a department other than the Collections Office? Shouldn't that be the very department he ought to work in? I feel strongly compelled to write a letter to Enchantress to point out that in the interests of efficiency, they could probably consolidate operations and just take the obvious step of having the Collections Office handle collections, thus eliminating P. Caponio's obviously redundant position.
You hear that, P. Caponio? You're on thin ice. If I were you, I'd start taking a more concilatory tone in your collection letters from now on. Your very livelihood is at stake.
Govern yourself accordingly.
No, I’m not talking about menstruation, or PMS, or anything like that. Quite the reverse – it’s time for Enchantress Hosiery of Canada to bitch at Ruddy Ruddy in what has fast become a monthly tradition of tersely worded collection letters. Behold:
I can't believe they're still willing to send more shipments even though they can't get any money for the first ones. In fact, unless Ruddy Ruddy returns payment for the outstanding hosiery, they will apparently keep sending more. That's just throwing good money after bad.PAY $24.64 NOW TO AVOID COLLECTION
Acct # 004295469-9Dear Miss Ruddy,
Your account remains delinquent.
If we do not receive your payment of $24.64 within 15 days, we will forward your file to the Collections Office.
Please pay your account now and avoid further collection efforts.
P. Caponio
Delinquent Accounts Supervisor
P.S. If you do not wish to receive any more shipments, please write "CANCEL" on the above payment stub when you return it with your payment.
Of course, they're still implying that Ruddy Ruddy actually received the shipment for which they're trying to bill, which isn't the case. Only the free ones arrived, and none after that. So, if I may point this out once again, Ruddy Ruddy just doesn't owe any money at all.
Hmm. Now that I look back on it, I actually wrote almost exactly the same thing the last time I got something from Enchantress. But I was really drunk that time. However, I'm not now, and perceived through a lens of cold, sober reason, everything I concluded last time seems just as valid.
Here's something I didn't notice before, though: Why does Enchantress have a Delinquent Accounts Supervisor who apparently works in a department other than the Collections Office? Shouldn't that be the very department he ought to work in? I feel strongly compelled to write a letter to Enchantress to point out that in the interests of efficiency, they could probably consolidate operations and just take the obvious step of having the Collections Office handle collections, thus eliminating P. Caponio's obviously redundant position.
You hear that, P. Caponio? You're on thin ice. If I were you, I'd start taking a more concilatory tone in your collection letters from now on. Your very livelihood is at stake.
Govern yourself accordingly.
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