The Son of God wants the Son of Ruddy Ruddy

Well, this one ought to be good: The latest piece of mail plucked from the pile (a rather thick one) comes from CBH Ministries of Grand Rapids, Michigan, and is addressed to "DONOR ID: 152452 RUDDY RUDDY". Think they're coming to Ruddy Ruddy with their hand out? Think they'll get anything?

Well, if it's a plea for Ruddy Ruddy to exhibit the Christian virtue of charity, it's not an overly blatant one, as it turns out. Inside the envelope is an issue of Keys for Kids: FUN-SIZED daily devotionals just for kids! (If you've ever wondered exactly how big fun is, fun-size seems to be about one 5½" x 8½" page).

But this doesn't seem to be just any issue of Keys for Kids -- it's a special birthday issue! The cover reads

IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY...
SO BLOW OUT THE CANDLES!
LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE--MARCH 6

It looks like we've just learned something new: If the cover of Keys for Kids is to be believed, Ruddy Ruddy's birthday is March 6.

Now, I'm not sure where they plucked that date from. The whole Ruddy Ruddy thing began when I signed up for something or other online, and when I sign up for things online and want to remain anonymous, I falsify a lot of the information -- aside from using the fake name "Ruddy Ruddy", I've also done my part to make "90210" the most oft-submitted zip code in cyberspace -- but I don't falsify everything. My birthday is April 8, and that's what I usually give out, since there's no harm in doing that. So, I'd have thought that Ruddy Ruddy's birthday would be April 8, but if CBH Ministries says it's March 6, who am I to argue? After all, they have God on their side. (But on the other hand, they seem to think Ruddy Ruddy is about eight years old.)

Anyway, far from being a plea for alms, Keys for Kids is available for subscription at no cost. And you're getting good value for that price: Each issue contains two months' worth of daily readings. "These fun stories will help you discover who God wants you to be," vows page 2. Of course, it also promises "Our mailing lists are confidential and are not sold or used for commercial purposes" in small type at the bottom, so considering how Ruddy Ruddy's address has been bought and sold in the past, I'll let you decide whether or not to trust page 2.

There are sixty devotionals in the issue, but if I'm going to share just one, none could be better than the one for Ruddy Ruddy's birthday, March 6. Here goes:

Burning Candles
Read: Romans 8:35-39

Jenny was so excited that she could hardly sit still as she waited, eyes closed, for Mom to bring in her birthday cake. "Okay, sweetie! Open your eyes!" said Dad at last.

Jenny blinked as her eyes adjusted to the light created by the glowing candles on top of the most beautiful birthday cake she had ever seen! Nine colorful frosting angels each held a flickering candle. "Make a wish and blow the candles out!" said Dad with a smile.

Closing her eyes again, Jenny made a secret wish that all her days would be as happy as this one! She opened her eyes and blew out the candles. But as she reached for the cake knife, she saw that, somehow, every candle had started burning again! "Look! The candles!" exclaimed Jenny. "I thought that I blew them out, but they all strted up again!" Dad tried not to laugh.

"Better blow them out again, Jenny!" suggested Mom.

Jenny took a deep breath and blew extra hard this time. Once again all the candles went out, but as she watched, one by one they sparked and soon were burning again. Jenny was speechless!

Her father burst into laughter. "Got ya, Jenny," he teased. "We put special candles on your cake! They're made so that no matter how hard you try to blow the light out, it will always come back!"

"Sort of like the light that burns within us when we know Jesus as Savior," said Mom. "No matter how Satan tries to blow it out, God never allows it to go out."

Both Jenny and Dad tried to blow the candles out a few more times. They laughed together as the lights kept coming back.

How About You? Are you a Christian? If so, you were chosen by God as His "special candle" to share His light--Jesus--with others. Have you been doing that? Satan would like to put your light out, but he can't. God won't let anything separate you from Himself. Thank Him for that, and let your light shine brightly for Him every day!

Key Verse:

"Let your light so shine before men, that
they may see your good works and glorify
your Father in Heaven."
-Matthew 5:16

Shine for Jesus

Well ... that story was weird. The real moral, I think, is that a good practical joke is spoiled when the perpetrators suddenly get all churchy on you and act like their prank has some great moral or theological meaning. Way to spoil the mood, Mom. And equally off-putting is the fact that Jenny wishes that all her days would be as happy as this one and then fails to blow out the candles, meaning that this day will be the high point of her life, which is really kind of sad.

But to make up for all this, here are some chicken riddles, courtesy of Keys for Kids!

Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you're the chicken!

Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side...er, no--to go shopping...no--to go to the beach...

Why did the chicken end up in the soup?
Because it ran out of cluck!

Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.

Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
It wanted to lay it on the line.

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.