Gung ho for elephants
I'm still trying to work my way through the (now visibly diminishing) pile of Ruddy Ruddy mail that I've accumulated over my hiatus, so here's another one. This one comes from Communication Canada, and as it's addressed to
Well, that's a letdown. Not only is this irrelevant at this point, it being mid-August by now, but I didn't even notice any kind of service disruption. According to the letter, the Publishing and Depository Services switched to a new warehousing and distribution service provider, and also was part of a government reorganization. "Thank you in advance for your patience and understanding as we transition to new processing methods as well as a new reporting authority," the letter says. "We really appreciate your support and truly regret any inconvenience that this may cause you." Don't sweat it, guys.
Truly a disappointment. But even if I'd dealt with that one promptly, I don't think I could have made that one very interesting anyway. Perhaps the next selection from the pile will offer up some better action; it's from the always-exciting People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.
I open it to find ... a comic book! Now this is more like it. It may not be Marvel-quality or anything, but PETA doesn't shy away from exposing animal cruelty through vivid images, so there's a chance that An Elephant's Life could have all the blood and guts of the average issue of The Punisher. (That link goes to the online version, so you can see for yourself.) I'm looking forward to seeing some ivory-trading Kenyan poachers cut the tusks right out of some elephants' faces in acts of glorious, shrieking, four-color mayhem.
Sadly, the most violence inflicted upon an elephant is a little prodding with a pointed hook. But more significant violence is done to logical storytelling: The story begins with a racially mixed group of children (because everything is just that more enlightening when involves one white girl, one black girl, and one Asian boy) attending a circus. Following the show, they hop in a jeep with the white girl's acrobat aunt and the circus' strongman and apparently drive to Africa. At least, they end up at an elephant sanctuary, and I've never heard of one of those being located outside Africa. I suppose it's possible that they were in Africa to begin with, but somehow I think not; as far as I know, traveling circuses do more business in North America than in Africa, and only one of the kids, Leo, seems that familiar with elephants to begin with.
What's really notable about this comic is that the circus strongman (who's not identified at first, but who Leo later addresses as Alexander, despite the fact that they haven't been introduced, which would seem to be bad writing, but I suppose the kids might have heard his name during the show) seems to be none other than Gung-Ho, the Marine from G.I. Joe.
Check out Gung-Ho's bald head, black handlebar mustache, and powder-blue vest on his personnel file card. (Note also that he's a specialist in jungle warfare, so he's right at home in Africa.) You can't see it in the picture, but Gung-Ho had a golden hoop earring too.
Now look at Alexander the strongman in the following page from An Elephant's Life: bald head, black handlebar mustache, and powder-blue polo shirt. And that's a hell of a golden hoop earring.
Don't make the mistake of thinking he's wussier in the PETA comic; near the end of the story, he frees an elephant by snapping its steel chain with his bare hands. The lesson is clear: Don't fuck with elephants, or you'll have to deal with "the hairiest, scariest, craziest jarhead that ever scratched, kicked, and bit his way out of that hole-in-the-swamp they call Parris Island!"
I expect it to be, well, special. Let's open it, shall we?R SPECIAL 25363200S
RUDDY INC
PUBLISHING AND DEPOSITORY SERVICES
IMPORTANT NOTICE
RE:
SERVICE DISRUPTIONS FROM
MARCH 17 TO APRIL 6, 2004
Well, that's a letdown. Not only is this irrelevant at this point, it being mid-August by now, but I didn't even notice any kind of service disruption. According to the letter, the Publishing and Depository Services switched to a new warehousing and distribution service provider, and also was part of a government reorganization. "Thank you in advance for your patience and understanding as we transition to new processing methods as well as a new reporting authority," the letter says. "We really appreciate your support and truly regret any inconvenience that this may cause you." Don't sweat it, guys.
Truly a disappointment. But even if I'd dealt with that one promptly, I don't think I could have made that one very interesting anyway. Perhaps the next selection from the pile will offer up some better action; it's from the always-exciting People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.
I open it to find ... a comic book! Now this is more like it. It may not be Marvel-quality or anything, but PETA doesn't shy away from exposing animal cruelty through vivid images, so there's a chance that An Elephant's Life could have all the blood and guts of the average issue of The Punisher. (That link goes to the online version, so you can see for yourself.) I'm looking forward to seeing some ivory-trading Kenyan poachers cut the tusks right out of some elephants' faces in acts of glorious, shrieking, four-color mayhem.
Sadly, the most violence inflicted upon an elephant is a little prodding with a pointed hook. But more significant violence is done to logical storytelling: The story begins with a racially mixed group of children (because everything is just that more enlightening when involves one white girl, one black girl, and one Asian boy) attending a circus. Following the show, they hop in a jeep with the white girl's acrobat aunt and the circus' strongman and apparently drive to Africa. At least, they end up at an elephant sanctuary, and I've never heard of one of those being located outside Africa. I suppose it's possible that they were in Africa to begin with, but somehow I think not; as far as I know, traveling circuses do more business in North America than in Africa, and only one of the kids, Leo, seems that familiar with elephants to begin with.
What's really notable about this comic is that the circus strongman (who's not identified at first, but who Leo later addresses as Alexander, despite the fact that they haven't been introduced, which would seem to be bad writing, but I suppose the kids might have heard his name during the show) seems to be none other than Gung-Ho, the Marine from G.I. Joe.
Check out Gung-Ho's bald head, black handlebar mustache, and powder-blue vest on his personnel file card. (Note also that he's a specialist in jungle warfare, so he's right at home in Africa.) You can't see it in the picture, but Gung-Ho had a golden hoop earring too.
Now look at Alexander the strongman in the following page from An Elephant's Life: bald head, black handlebar mustache, and powder-blue polo shirt. And that's a hell of a golden hoop earring.
Don't make the mistake of thinking he's wussier in the PETA comic; near the end of the story, he frees an elephant by snapping its steel chain with his bare hands. The lesson is clear: Don't fuck with elephants, or you'll have to deal with "the hairiest, scariest, craziest jarhead that ever scratched, kicked, and bit his way out of that hole-in-the-swamp they call Parris Island!"
6 Comments:
Where's Ruddy Ruddy? S/he's no longer in Google's top 100 results for Ruddy Ruddy (can't even find him/her). This calls for drastic measures. I did find this link, though:
www.aprilwinchell.com/linkapalooza/
Ruddy Ruddy is currently at #18 as "The amazing weblog of Mr./Mrs. Ruddy Ruddy.
Elizabeth, still anonymous
PETA's more insane than I thought if they actually want me to believe there's a point to a circus without exotic animals. It's like drinking non-alcoholic beer stage whispering -- sure you could, but what's the point?
I think I'd be far more inclined to get behind PETA's mission statement if they were willing to grow a pair and admit there will be some concessions. "If we get our way, animals WILL be free. However, our nation's circuses will suck. This is the cross we as a people must bear." They're putting it all up front for you so there won't be any nasty surprises later on, when you and your family buy tickets to the circus and get a lion tamer cracking a whip at a clown smoking a cigarette.
As long as that lion tamer puts a nasty scar on that clown's face in the process, I'm entertained.
Isn't Cirque de Soleil an animal free circus? Anyway, I'm betting the comic takes place in Tennessee. Why? Because we have an elephant sanctuary, and I'll bet the strongman is a vip member. You can be too.
http://www.elephants.com/sanct.htm
I believe you're right on the Cirque de Soleil. But an elephant refuge in Tennessee? I'll be damned. I guess the comic could take place there. But how do you explain all the white and black people getting along so well, then?
You're right -- that was one strident 404 page.
It looks like PETA redesigned their site. I've fixed the link to the comic, but they still don't seem to give you more than the cover, even though they say you can download the whole thing for free. Maybe if you log in to their site, it might work.
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