Official Ruddy Buddy Memo

Good news for my Ruddy Buddies who have been clamoring for their membership cards. I was chatting with one of the lovely designers at work, and she said she'd be glad to devise some handsome cards for the low, low cost of a Dairy Queen Blizzard. Her previous card-making experience includes whipping up some snappy business cards reading "Manwhore", so I'm convinced she's got what it takes. All I have to do is whip up a creative brief for her this weekend, and it's as good as done.

While I have you reading, I can use your advice: I got a notice yesterday that a package too big to fit in the mailbox had arrived. Any ideas on how Ruddy Ruddy can pick up his package from the post office without proper ID?