No package for Ruddy Ruddy
Just getting your attention with the title there. Sorry about playing with your emotions. Actually, it was quite a successful day for Ruddy Ruddy. Let me walk you through it.
Too busy for work today, I took the day off to attend to all things Ruddy. Thanks to my friend Tyler, I got some snappy-looking cards printed out on card stock. Then I strapped on the old rollerblades for the first time this year and scooted down to my local post office to mail some cards out to deserving Ruddy Buddies. This mailing was just to the foreign Ruddy Buddies, by the way. Ruddy Buddies who live around the corner from me will have to settle for hand-delivery.
"Anything else?" asked the girl behind the counter as she collected my postage money.
"Actually," I said, summoning all my sweaty rollerblader charm. "A package got sent to me, but it wasn't under my name, so I don't have any ID."
"That's okay," she said. "Do you have any ID for the address?"
"I do," I said, summoning a copy of my phone bill.
"Okay, great," she said. Then she looked at my address. "Actually, you're not in my area." We looked again at the delivery slip. Sure enough, the pick-up address was at Danforth and Coxwell, not Danforth and Chester, as I'd assumed, what with it being a much closer postal outlet.
So I strapped my rollerblades back on and skated the 1.5 miles (2.414016 kilometers, to keep it real, metric-style) down the Danforth to the other postal outlet. There, I picked up the package with little fuss; they didn't even ask me to show a Ruddy Buddy card. Then I skated home, having gone quite a bit further than expected on my first rollerblading trip of the year, and took a nap.
Awake again and full of blogging vigour, I now turn my attention to the package, a big 13" x 18" (no metric conversion on this one) padded envelope sent to Mr. Ruddy Ruddy by the Office of the Commissioner of Official Languages. Although I haven't gotten around to mentioning yet, this office also sent Ruddy Ruddy a handsome poster about a week ago depicting the works of Group of Seven painters Lawren Harris and A.J. Casson and pointing out that the English and French have lived side by side in Canada for over 230 years.
This time, they've sent The Magic Mural, a teaching guide for children aged 4 to 7 that consists of a non-interactive CD-ROM, a mouse pad, a poster, and an activity guide. The website cautions "A parent or teacher must accompany the children on these Magic Mural adventures." (Aunts, uncles, grandparents, or child-care providers need not apply.) I presume that's to ensure correct use of the computer rather than to screen out or explain any violence or sexual content. Or maybe parental or teacher involvement is required so that they can read the special study "Official Language Requirements And Government On-Line" aloud to the children, as this is also included in the package.
Here's a capsule summary of the The Magic Mural, taken directly from the activity book:
The children do seem to get knocked around a lot, so there's your violence. And depending on how close those two get on that little skateboard, you might be able to find some inappropriate content there too. But I think the real point of having a parent or teacher present is to explain the gender politics underlying the fact that the girl, Julie, is the one with all the ideas, while Daniel, the boy, is basically useless and accident-prone to boot. Or maybe it's to explain how it can be that a bird has hair instead of feathers. My theory: Considering that he's good friends with a dinosaur, it's likely that Bushy is a prehistoric bird from an epoch before the hair of avians evolved into feathers.
It's really not for me to worry about, though; according to the rules set by the Office of the Commissioner of Official Languages, I can't use The Magic Mural since I'm not a parent or a teacher (and I'm not 4 to 7 years old). But I did need a new mouse pad, since the old one's getting a little grungy. So, a hearty thank-you goes out to the government on this one.
Too busy for work today, I took the day off to attend to all things Ruddy. Thanks to my friend Tyler, I got some snappy-looking cards printed out on card stock. Then I strapped on the old rollerblades for the first time this year and scooted down to my local post office to mail some cards out to deserving Ruddy Buddies. This mailing was just to the foreign Ruddy Buddies, by the way. Ruddy Buddies who live around the corner from me will have to settle for hand-delivery.
"Anything else?" asked the girl behind the counter as she collected my postage money.
"Actually," I said, summoning all my sweaty rollerblader charm. "A package got sent to me, but it wasn't under my name, so I don't have any ID."
"That's okay," she said. "Do you have any ID for the address?"
"I do," I said, summoning a copy of my phone bill.
"Okay, great," she said. Then she looked at my address. "Actually, you're not in my area." We looked again at the delivery slip. Sure enough, the pick-up address was at Danforth and Coxwell, not Danforth and Chester, as I'd assumed, what with it being a much closer postal outlet.
So I strapped my rollerblades back on and skated the 1.5 miles (2.414016 kilometers, to keep it real, metric-style) down the Danforth to the other postal outlet. There, I picked up the package with little fuss; they didn't even ask me to show a Ruddy Buddy card. Then I skated home, having gone quite a bit further than expected on my first rollerblading trip of the year, and took a nap.
Awake again and full of blogging vigour, I now turn my attention to the package, a big 13" x 18" (no metric conversion on this one) padded envelope sent to Mr. Ruddy Ruddy by the Office of the Commissioner of Official Languages. Although I haven't gotten around to mentioning yet, this office also sent Ruddy Ruddy a handsome poster about a week ago depicting the works of Group of Seven painters Lawren Harris and A.J. Casson and pointing out that the English and French have lived side by side in Canada for over 230 years.
This time, they've sent The Magic Mural, a teaching guide for children aged 4 to 7 that consists of a non-interactive CD-ROM, a mouse pad, a poster, and an activity guide. The website cautions "A parent or teacher must accompany the children on these Magic Mural adventures." (Aunts, uncles, grandparents, or child-care providers need not apply.) I presume that's to ensure correct use of the computer rather than to screen out or explain any violence or sexual content. Or maybe parental or teacher involvement is required so that they can read the special study "Official Language Requirements And Government On-Line" aloud to the children, as this is also included in the package.
Here's a capsule summary of the The Magic Mural, taken directly from the activity book:
On a beautiful summer day, Julie is sitting in a park. Nearby is a large mural. she is drawing the animals depicted on the mural. Daniel arrives on his skateboard. Suddenly, Julie's drawing is natched from her hands by a powerful wind and lands on Daniel's face. He loses his blance and falls at Julie's feet.
Julie apologizes, but Daniel does not understand what she is saying. Julie speaks French, but Daniel does not understand because he speaks English.
Another gust of wind blows Daniel straight through the magic mural. Julie is surprised; she does not understand where Daniel has gone. She comes closer to the mural and is suddenly carried away by the wind into the mural like Daniel.
When they go through the sky painted on the mural, Julie and Daniel make holes in the shapes of their bodies.
They land on an island, which they quickly realize is the head of a dinosaur. The dinosaur sneezes and, as a result, projects Daniel and Julie into the air. they land on a flower whose petals close on them.
Julie cries "AU SECOURS" and Daniel cries "HELP!" Bushy Bird, a caring character from the magic mural, hears them. He tickles the flower until it opens its petals. Julie and Daniel fall to the ground.
Julie and Daniel explain to Bushy Bird, who speaks neither English nor French, that they are lost and want to return home. To make him understand what they are saying, Julie draws a house, but Bushy Bird finally understands when he sees the holes in the sky.
Bushy Bird asks his friend the dinosaur to bring Julie and Daniel up to the holes in the sky.
Daniel and Julie then climb onto the dinosaur's head, but the dinosaur is unable to move. And why is that? Because a strange snake is holding onto his tail. What can they do? Through gestures, she asks Bushy Bird to tickle the dinosaur's nose with his hair. The dinosaur sneezes and sends the children through the sky.
Finally back in the park, Daniel and Julie ride away on Daniel's skateboard.
The children do seem to get knocked around a lot, so there's your violence. And depending on how close those two get on that little skateboard, you might be able to find some inappropriate content there too. But I think the real point of having a parent or teacher present is to explain the gender politics underlying the fact that the girl, Julie, is the one with all the ideas, while Daniel, the boy, is basically useless and accident-prone to boot. Or maybe it's to explain how it can be that a bird has hair instead of feathers. My theory: Considering that he's good friends with a dinosaur, it's likely that Bushy is a prehistoric bird from an epoch before the hair of avians evolved into feathers.
It's really not for me to worry about, though; according to the rules set by the Office of the Commissioner of Official Languages, I can't use The Magic Mural since I'm not a parent or a teacher (and I'm not 4 to 7 years old). But I did need a new mouse pad, since the old one's getting a little grungy. So, a hearty thank-you goes out to the government on this one.
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